So, you got yourself a new website set up and you want to be at the bottom of the “shower head” search results. This may not get you banned altogether, but it will at least get your site deranked enough that new visitors will stop bothering you.
1. Build hundreds of pages with the same content.
Build as many pages as you can, with basically the same content. Build one for “shower heads in Oregon”, then build another for “shower heads in California”. Build one for every state, and all the big cities in that state. Doing this should get your site banned in a month or two if you do it right.
2. Buy 145 domains, and point them all at the same site.
Another old SEO trick that works well. Since you are selling shower heads, you should get:
You get the idea. Build up enough of these and submit them all to google and yahoo, so they can index them and properly punish your site.
3. Keep your keyword density as high as possible.
Who cares what the text sounds like, keep it optimized. Here is an example of BAD text:
_”At Jeremy’s Shower heads, we have many name brand shower heads to choose from, and you can order online”. _
That almost sounds like something a human would say. Try this:
“At Jeremy’s Shower Heads, we have the most shower heads out of any shower heads manufacturer, or shower heads dealer. Come check out our shower heads store and look at all our shower heads and shower heads supplies we have available. Need more shower heads, or a special shower head? We can special order shower heads too.”
Not only do you have more text, but we have 15.5% keyword density for “shower heads”. That should be enough to trip the spam filter in most major engines. If it doesnt, try adding “shower heads” into random spots in the paragraph.
4. Spam your links in wordpress or other blog comments.
Nothing says “crappy spam site” more, and if you do this enough, the search engines will notice. Since very few people probably click those links anyway, you wont have any new visitors bothering you either.
5. Join as many link exchanges as possible.
Try to get as many link exchanges going, with as many sites as possible. If you run a shower head site, trading links with a quilting directory makes perfect sense. Enough irrelevant links, and you should see a good drop in rankings you should actually get naturally.
6. Use as many free for all “FFA” sites as possible.
Same theory, link exchanges with irrelevant sites won’t get you banned, but they will certainly drop your rankings.
7. Target popular keywords and enjoy the extra traffic.
Dont fill your site with keywords about shower heads. Throw in paris hilton, britney spears, and mortage rates. With all those extra people coming in, you’re bound to sell a shower head or two. Targeted marketing is for people who want to be bothered by customers all the time.
8. Generate random text
The more text, the better. Generating random text is a great way to get new people into your site, but dont worry they’ll close the browser once they read the gibberish. And google will punish your rankings also.
9. Build cloak pages!
A cloaked page is a page designed to be seen by search engines, and optimized, then a real user sees an entirely different page. Again, all the people coming to your super britney spears page listed on google, will surely be happy that you have such a wide selection of shower heads. And soon google will catch on to your cloaked pages also.
10. Hide your text
This one is awesome! There is no way the search engines will ever figure out your white text on a white background. This secret text is your key to getting banned, and rather quickly if someone finds it and tattles on you. So get that huge keyword list ready and start loading up the page!
I hope this has helped. The sarcasm even got old to me by the end of the list, but these are things you should never, ever consider on your site. Many of the tactics haven’t worked well for years, and many of them are futile anyway, as you’re only getting traffic that isn’t interested in your product. Keep these in mind when talking to an SEO also.